My First Love

We were in the same class for 11.5 years. We both were tall , we both had a dimple and you know how kids are , our compatibility was based on such stupid things and well , we were compatible. The whole crushing thing was normal and i had a crush on him for 7 years. On and off. In between those 7 years i had two boyfriends but well i ll tell you about it some other time. 

The crushing and teasing and doodles went on for all those years till the summer of 9th grade. At that time i had made a new bestfriend whom my crush didnt like at all. But still i couldnt let go of any one of them so i didnt do anything about it. 

The social media can be a bane as well as a boon. For me , it was both. So one day , while chatting he told me even he had a crush on me and that he had broken up with his past lover. He still liked me and i , like a fool , believed. I told him i did too. And within seconds i was in my third relationship. I couldnt stop screaming. I actually had what i had been dreaming of since the third grade. We didnt meet much since our vacation was going on. But we talked at night and i dont know why i was satisfied with that. When school started , I thought all this would change but it didnt and I still didnt say anything. I was more of a go with the flow type of girl. We didnt talk face to face , we barely talked on the phone. And one day i started hearing all the rumours , ‘ he is cheating on you. ‘ ‘ he hasnt broken up with his ex ‘. Even my bestfriends told me he’s an ass but i didnt believe a single person until one day I couldnt take it anymore and i was almost about to cry when he came to me and said ‘ ofcourse i love you there’s no other’. I believed him again. But after a few weeks i realised this wasnt worth it. I didnt love him. He didnt either. And we broke up through a CHIT. Yep. That’s how pathetic our relationship was. 

In the recess , his ex came to me and asked if we were still together and i said nope broke up this morning. And she ran out crying and i followed her. Then i hugged her and i asked what’s wrong she told me she had been with him for the past 6 months and out of those , he cheated on us for 2 months. Trust me i wanted to cry like crazy but i just couldnt i dont know why. Something stupid inside of me told me to look after his ex because he wouldn’t. I called him there and we confronted him and he said to her it was always you and that she (I) was a huge mistake and i stood there in shock. I was his mistake. I just stood there and she ran upstairs. I followed her and consoled her. I still dont know why.

After a month , i went for a vacation cause all that sympathy was driving me crazy but i didnt know something even crazier was about to happen. My friends  call me and tell me , “they both ran away from home” and I couldn’t believe it. They were still together and they freaking ran away. And somehow i had to face the humiliation because i was the ex of a coward. 

When they finally came back he messaged me to apologize. He told me he didnt mean for all that to happen it was a joke and a bad one. I was disgusted by him but I forgave him. Not because he deserved it but because i had cried too much over a guy who wasn’t even worth it. I let it go and moved on.

But i havent been the same ever since. I am not that girl anymore who kept quite and saw everything wrong happening. I have grown past it. Now I am more confident and strong and so so proud of myself. And also , i have found the love of my life , the best friend my crush didnt like. And i thank him for breaking my heart. It has made me the person i am today. Expressive and confident.

I needed to confess this. But also i hope that you got the message. Learn from your past. Move on. Not for others but for yourself. And believe that something good will come out of every bad situation because it always does. 

Love. 🙂

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